Every beloved holiday has its respective figure of staunch opposition. Christmas has the Grinch. Valentine’s Day has Liz Lemon. Halloween has that parent who always makes a scene at the PTA meetings. And Thanksgiving has the collective forces of Hollywood.
While you might scoff at the accusation between bites of tofurkey and spoonfuls of mashed fauxtatoes (what, did you guys not grow up in an orthodox vegan household?), think about every Thanksgiving-themed movie or television show you’ve ever seen. Think about the coming together of the families, the preparation of the meals, the sacrosanct tradition of reciting psalms the Book of Pilgrim (seriously? not that either? what kind of heathens raised you?) — no matter what the course of action depicted in a Thanksgiving film or TV episode, it indubitably goes awry. No onscreen Turkey Day has ever amounted to the pleasant celebration of gratitude it’s “supposed” to be.
It’s hard to say why, exactly, this phenomenon has come into play — we understand perfectly the rationale behind the respected hatreds of the abovementioned holidays (anti-materialism; the subjugation of women; fun is evil), but why Thanksgiving? Why has Hollywood taken such a consistently harsh jab at the November commemoration?
One way to get to the bottom of this is simply by sorting through historical examples of the big and small screens’ castigation of Thanksgiving glory — to look at the very worst Thanksgivings in pop culture history. And since you’re probably tuckered out from the annual holiday practice of reenacting the first Wampanoag-Presbyterian wedding (you’ve got to be kidding me — what do you guys do?!), we’ve done the hard part for you. So there they are — the worst pop culture Thanksgivings, and the lessons they have each taught us about why this is truly the worst holiday to grace our planet of Glorpax… reading all this over, I think I might be in a cult.
Hannah and Her Sisters
The dreaded coming together of families… almost as horrifying as the tearing apart of families. Both are adequately chronicled in Woody Allen’s 1986 drama Hannah and Her Sisters, which kicks off at a Thanksgiving dinner that incites the destruction of the title character’s marriage.
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